


do you hear me late at night? (always picking up the pieces)

by janie_tangerine



Series: but you and I, we've been through this maybe a hundred times before [3]
Category: A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Reincarnation, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Hurt/Comfort, Idiots in Love, M/M, Modern Westeros, Nightmares, Other, Reincarnation, Robb Stark is a Gift, Soulmates, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, even if he's still kinda fucked up, in which we find out what are the other Starks doing, with more Theon being the adjusted one
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-25
Updated: 2015-06-25
Packaged: 2018-04-06 02:44:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,124
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4205010
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/janie_tangerine/pseuds/janie_tangerine
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>wherein Theon gets adjusted to the whole 'by the way, reincarnation is a thing' deal and wherein Robb tracks down his family and he doesn't necessarily like what he finds out.</p>
            </blockquote>





	do you hear me late at night? (always picking up the pieces)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [QueenWithABeeThrone](https://archiveofourown.org/users/QueenWithABeeThrone/gifts).



> Soo [/QueenWithABeeThrone](http://archiveofourown.org/users/QueenWithABeeThrone) asked for a timestamp to the first fic when I was doing a meme with the line _look at me - just breathe_. This happened. (There's totally more in the works at some point.) Titles for both this and the series are from Gaslight Anthem all over again and I own nothing except the plot.

I.

  


The first time Theon has nightmares about  _it_ , it’s long enough after he remembers old Westeros that he had thought he might have dodged that bullet.

Or maybe it was that he was too busy to let himself catch up to it - after all he had to do the paperwork to get his financial help, he had to rework the entire layout of his tiny flat so that it could house two people - good thing that he had helpful neighbors and that Connington helped him straighten out the paperwork ( _considering all the paperwork I had to go through to keep my kid with me I know a thing or a hundred_ , he had said) -, he spent a good chunk of his spring break talking to Robb’s teachers and trying to see if there was some chance in hell he _could_  actually graduate and so on (the answer was no, even if they all were sympathetic, so Theon just figured that this year is a goner and next he’ll just make sure Robb actually  _shows up_  - with his attendance record, he can’t fault his teachers for not letting him graduate). He really had  _no time_  to think about his failures in a past life, especially because on top of that Robb is really  _not_  okay himself and it’s not issues that can be solved with strawberry shortcake.

So, after three months he had figured that maybe he had just, well, internalized it or something.

He was wrong, because one night he wakes up screaming and feeling like his left hand is on fire and saying  _it rhymes with weak_  under his breath all over, and he’s covered in cold sweat, and _why does he have all of his fingers it’s not the way it should be it’s not_  -

“Fuck, what - oh,  _shit_. Hey - Theon? Theon, just -”  


He shakes his head, moving towards the wall, looking down at his hands -

Until there are fingers on his face and his head is propped up and -

“Theon - hey, look at me - just breathe, okay? I know. I went through that enough times, I know how it is,  _it’s not real._  Or - okay, it was, but - just breathe once. Okay?”  


He does, wondering how Robb can be here, he was dead, he  _should have died with him_ , but at the same time it’s  _him_  so he can’t be suggesting something bad, right?

“Okay, great, another one.”  


He does again. And again. By the tenth, he realizes that it’s actually the fucking twenty-first century and not  _the Middle Ages_ , and he’s so spent he has to lean against the headboard, taking deep breaths all over again but without needing a prompt.

“Shit,” he says, “I’m sorry, I -”  


“Cut it out, I’ve dealt with that since I was five. I know a thing or  _a thousand_.”  


“… Fuck,  _how_  did you even arrive at seventeen? Because all things considered maybe you’re a lot less fucked up than  _I_  would have been in your place.”  


Robb snorts and moves back, leaning against his side. “Why do you think no one wanted to deal with me? And anyway, I didn’t manage that decently until the nice therapist.”

“Who, the one that was going to look up your family for you?”  


“Yeah. Let’s say I was a complete mess when I got there. She taught me to do that and it became a lot less horrid. I don’t even dream about that anymore these days.”  


“Wait, you mean you told yourself to breathe in  _on your own_?”  


“It wasn’t like there was anyone else around to do it? Well, no, Jeyne kinda did. I mean. Jeyne Poole. I told you she was my roommate. She saw me doing that one night and she asked me what was wrong and I just told her I got nightmares ever so often and that I managed, and she said that it was ridiculous I had to do it myself and she was more than happy to wake me up in case. But she left after four months, so.”  


“Shit, you just - never mind.” Theon throws an arm around Robb’s shoulders and just relishes in the contact, and he figures it’s time to share some news.  


“By the way, I’m done with finals next week. And my mom  _really_  wants to meet you. How about a trip to Harlaw the week after?”  


Robb stares at him for a moment, then shrugs. “As long as your mom doesn’t have high expectations.”

Theon doesn’t tell him that his mom has already organized Robb’s eighteenth birthday party, which is going to admittedly be very small, but he wasn’t going to let that pass without even some sort of celebration.

“Well, she said that as long as I’m happy she’s happy, so I don’t think you should be worried.”  


“Flatterer,” Robb mutters, putting an arm around his waist and closing his eyes. Theon lets him go back to sleep - he can’t, not right now, but it’s fine. He’s fine. They’ll be fine. He should have taken into account, and it’s done, and they’ll be fine when it happens again.  


  


II.

  


“Mother - Jeyne -  _Grey Wind_  -”  


Theon is barely aware of his surroundings when he hears that, and he only heard that because Robb was trashing in the bed and he was forcibly woken up. Other than that, Robb’s speaking in such a low voice he wouldn’t have heard him if he had stayed still.

And then he screams hard enough that Theon can feel his skin crawling, and he can imagine even too well  _what_  is this about.

He also thinks he knows what brought it on. But he can worry about that later.

He leans over Robb, grabbing him by the shoulders and shaking him.

“Robb, come on, it’s not happening, don’t -”  


Robb opens his eyes at once and  _shit_  Theon’s never seen such a terrified look in anyone’s face, not in this life at least - he’s gasping for breath and still struggling to get out of his hold, and for a moment Theon thinks  _did he spend most of his life dealing with this on his own._ Then he drives the thought out of his head - that’s not the time for it.

“Hey. Hey, look at me - breathe, okay? Just do it. Once. It’s done, it’s over, it’s not happening again, just take one.”  


Robb does, and he looks pained as he does.

“Good, good, very good, now take another one. And look at me. You’re fine. You’ll be fine.”  


After a minute or so Robb doesn’t look like he’s going to hyperventilate at any point, but Theon’s waiting for the moment the realization kicks in. Because he knows what brought it.

He hasn’t even finished thinking it when Robb’s shoulders start to shake - he doesn’t wait before tugging him forward the same way he did back the first time they met.

“Hey,” he says, “come on, it was just the first time, it was bound to be awkward.”  


Robb snorts against his shoulder as he sobs without even trying to keep it in. “Yeah, well, it’s just that  _I was wrong for my entire life_? I mean - I spent  _fifteen fucking years_  telling myself that it must have been a mistake, because that was the only way I could rationalize it, and then I find out  _it wasn’t_?”

Theon sighs - the thing is that he does have a point. Never mind that finding out your father is actually  _your uncle_  in this world might pull a number on you regardless.

“She was seventeen,” Theon shrugs. “And it was obvious that she didn’t take that decision lightly. I mean -”  


“I  _know_  what you mean, and still, that’s even fucking worse because that means  _I_  was a mistake, too, and - and I don’t know what I was thinking, damn it.”  


_That if you found them they’d say they had looked for you all along, too_ , probably, Theon thinks and doesn’t say, because he knows the feeling. Still, Catelyn Tully had technically left him up for  _adoption_ , not for seventeen years in the system, and if she thought he had a nice family she wouldn’t have looked him up for a long time. He gets it. And the thing is that - from what Theon’s seen,  _she_  doesn’t remember anything. Ned Stark does, though, and it had made for a very awkward conversation while they waited outside the bar that afternoon. At least, Ned Stark had been trying to apologize for  _not having been fair to him_  back in the day, and Theon had just said that it was fine and no hard feelings and really  _it was a lifetime ago they should just move on_ , this while staring at Robb and Catelyn sitting at a table and obviously talking things out. Yeah, awkward.

“Come on, don’t be like that. I don’t think you’re one. My mom likes you better than she likes  _me_. And I’m pretty sure no one you actually  _know_  thinks that. She’ll come around. Even if she doesn’t remember anything, she will.”  


“Yeah, well,  _better that she doesn’t_ ,” Robb sighs, still crying. “Really, it’d just be cruel. But I thought -”  


“Listen, hey, I didn’t have time to tell you before because you looked like you needed space and all that jazz, but your fa - your uncle - oh, damn,  _Ned Stark_ , before you were done, he - he said that Jon and Sansa remember everything same as he does, and Jon told him that however it went they wanted to see you. He gave me Jon’s number and I texted him before, and he says that tomorrow afternoon they’d love to, so - I mean,  _she_  will have to come around but it doesn’t mean the others already didn’t.”

At that, Robb does lean back, looking like a wreck. “Yeah, and what happens when they see where I ended up? Shit, they probably think that I’m - the way I was back then, and now I’m - they’ll just be disappointed.”

“ _Seriously_? Why?”  


“You were with  _me_  when I looked them up. She’s the top of her high school class and her ballet class is so good they went on a fucking  _tour_  two years ago. And do you remember that this entire thing started when Jon was on the newspaper because he and his friends managed to start and run that non-profit organization on their own  _when they were eighteen_  and they ended up on fucking national television? And sure, back  _then_  they all looked up to me for some godforsaken reason, and  _now_  - the biggest accomplishment of my fucking life until now was not failing the first year of  _community college_ , I can totally see it going well.”  


Theon sighs - out of everything that’s changed he really misses the fact that the Robb he used to know centuries ago thought a bit more of himself, but it’s not like he can blame him. And  _yes_ , this entire 'let's track down your family' deal did also start when he recognized Jon on television giving an interview about him and his friends having put funds together to try and do something in their hometown to counterbalance the last round of welfare cuts that Tywin Lannister inflicted on the entire Northern area of the continent. Still, considering the texts he got, he’s pretty sure that Jon Snow - well, he’s Stark now - gives zero shits about what Robb’s been up to, and same for his sister.

“Robb, can you trust me when I tell you he really doesn’t care? When I texted him he answered that he and Sansa had tried to look you up under the table for the last five years and never managed,  _because your records were lost in the system probably._ They just want to see you, give them a chance.”  


“Right, but you’re not sitting it out this time.”  


“Only if it doesn’t go well. Otherwise you three are on your own.”  


“Fine,  _fine_ , compromise accepted. Shit, who is even going to sleep again now, I don’t think I can.”  


“I’d tell you we could watch some tv but  _you_  insisted for the cheap bed and breakfast.” And Theon’s laptop is back in White Harbor - he had figured it was useless to bring it if the place didn’t even have wifi.  


“Who told you I wanted to  _watch tv_?”   


Theon isn’t going to be the one who judges someone’s coping mechanisms especially if they can be summed in  _let’s wreck the bed until we’re exhausted_ , and so when Robb kisses him without letting him answer the only thing he tries to do is slowing it down so that at least he _enjoys_  it.

And the moment Robb’s not looking he’s definitely texting Jon to decide a place for their appointment tomorrow.

  


End.


End file.
